COVID and Quarantine

I probably should've written this post a few weeks ago, but life has been a little turned upside down lately!

I'm not even sure where to start or how to talk about this, but basically, we are in the midst of a pandemic. A new virus originated in China and has quickly spread throughout the world. There's no vaccination, there's no cure. With time, most recover, but the number of people not recovering is scary. It's hard to find exact, accurate statistics, but as far as I can tell, the virus was discovered in December of 2019 and has spread across the globe, shutting down country after country as the world tries to slow the spread. Personal protection equipment for doctors, nurses and first responders are all but impossible to find. Toilet paper has been cleared off of every store shelf in the entire US. Grocery stores are so picked over that many aisles are all but empty.

Social distancing has been put into practice. It's the idea of staying 6 feet or more away from people you don't share a home with. The schools are closed for the rest of the year throughout most of the country, including here in Arizona. Most schools are attempting to do distance learning through various online avenues. Our school is actually doing a great job of implementing a system to continue learning, but it still requires a lot of time and effort on my part. It can't even be called home school since we are confined to our homes. I call it crisis or Covid schooling.

My kiddos aren't allowed to see their friends. We hold church in our homes, we are living off our food storage as much as possible. At the beginning of April, our governor signed a Stay at Home order, mandating that social distancing be in effect. Non-essential businesses are no longer functioning. Many stores are closed, small businesses are suffering and something like 10 million Americans lost their jobs over a two week window. My dad included.

And it feels like this came out of nowhere. At least for me. I don't watch the news. My social media feeds are full of photography related info. I tend to snooze or delete people who go on about politics and world happenings. Due to Bruce's job, I try to shield myself from those things. I stick my head in the sand and pretend life is butterflies and rainbows as a coping mechanism. It serves me well for the most part, but I feel pretty darn blindsided by this whole Coronavirus/Covid-19 thing.

The first few days, as I started to grasp what exactly was going on were very scary. I spent a LOT of time crying and I went through all the emotions. I was so mad at myself for being lax with our food storage throughout my pregnancy with Jellybean. I was mad at myself for being lazy with my gospel study. I was scared of what this would mean for my family. I grieved the loss of the life I had envisioned at this point in time. I threw myself a two week pity party where I experienced a constant headache brought on by crying, stress and anxiety. I felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack at any given moment. My chest felt tight all the time and oh, the exhaustion. I was so tired I could hardly function because I was mentally and emotionally spent.

We are now on week 5 of living a quarantine life. I'm feeling much better about life and the current state of our existence, but things are strange... I went to Costco a few weeks ago for one last stock up trip before the Stay at Home order that I knew was coming. Everyone in the store was so lifeless. No one seemed to have a smile in them. We were all on a mission. I left with the most full cart I have ever had and didn't even manage to find toilet paper or flour. Good news- the produce section is basically the Garden of Eden. Apparently no one thinks to buy veggies during a pandemic. Which just means more for me!

Our routine has changed significantly. We get out and hike or go for walks when we can, steering clear of other people of course. Not necessarily because we are paranoid (I mean I am, but Bruce is not at all) but because people are literally scared to be close to one another right now. But other than that, we are at home. Our 1800 square feet seems awfully small these days with all 7 of us here most of the time. The kiddos haven't been to a store or seen a friend in 39 days. And it doesn't look like that will be changing any time soon.

But it's not all bad. There have been silver linings. I've seen lots of my prayers answered. We've participated in not one, but two world wide fasts led by the prophet and we've felt peace and power through those fasts. Our home church has meant the chance to worship with my family via FaceTime. We've gotten a few house projects done and played more games and read more books.

It's been a roller coaster of emotions thus far, but we are surviving. And hopefully we'll even find chance to thrive through this. We've made it through 5 weeks of a really difficult time and I know we'll come out stronger on the other side. But until then, we stay home. We try to do something fun every day. And we cling to our faith and our family, because that's what's getting us through.